While I was still at Emerson College, I ventured into the basement of the Little Building to use the gym, and I watched a disturbing newscast on “Webspeak.” This article more clearly spells out (pun intended) the worrisome aspects of this coded language, specifically because of the divide it creates between parents and their children, let alone intelligence and its counterpart (I also learned that NIFOC is code for “nude in front of computer”—what unnecessary information). Apparently, middle school and high school kids, the likes of which I had long been separated from, had taken to using IM and text message shorthand (i.e. BRB for “be right back”) in their academic papers and even in their SAT essays. I actually said, “WHAT?” out loud as I walked on the treadmill. I had just transferred from Georgia State University to Emerson to study Writing, Literature and Publishing. I had taken out an ungodly amount in loans (the first of several) in the quest to make language my life. I wanted to figure out how to say things that everyone could understand and relate to via my fiction. At GSU, my fiction classes felt like training for a hobby, something to do on the weekends when I had grown tired of crocheting or needlepoint. I had come to Emerson to reach out to the world that knew that fiction could be so much more than mindless entertainment; in fact, that it was essential to keeping life from becoming one big mindless pursuit. And here were these kids fighting against everything that my ideal profession stood for. If they’re busy creating this new language that automatically excludes a large portion of the population, what is the point in trying to communicate anymore? If everything could be reduced to their first letters, why write stories or novels or poetry anymore? WHY WAKE UP IN THE MORNING?

I eventually calmed down and found the silver lining to seeing this unsettling newscast: I couldn’t go to the gym anymore. But mainly, it made me hyperaware of the usage of these abominations to the English language (a similar, though not equal, offense to overuse of hyperbole). I should say that Emerson College is home to the people in the world who didn’t quite fit into normal molds. Not a bad thing, though not necessarily a good thing, this is the reason for most of the sarcasm and irony that encases Emerson almost as much as the cigarette smoke in front of the buildings. So it came as no surprise that many of the students would occasionally exclaim, “BRB” as they were walking away or “LOL” instead of Actually. Laughing. Out. Loud. And though it was hilarious, whatever that means, the first five thousand and two times these ironies were voiced, it quickly got old. And older. I’m of the religion that ironic over usage cancels itself out and becomes, simply, usage.

So, this rant is just to say: be careful. Be very careful. And even if it’s spelled wrong, spell out what you want to say. And if something’s funny, do us all a favor and just LAUGH.   

It only took 1,500 years, but the English language welcomed its one-millionth word this week with the addition of “web 2.0” to its already crammed lexicon. As someone who makes a living out of words, I wholeheartedly welcome the term, and hope that someone, someday, can actually tell me what it means.

I don’t begrudge “web 2.0” for being meaningless. Having a meaning isn’t necessarily a precondition for acceptance into the English language anymore. As someone who has worked in a corporate environment, I’ve heard plenty of meaningless words. For example, can someone can tell me the definitive definition of “best practices,” “synergistic energy” and what exactly “turn-key” describes?

Before you throw the party, understand how this milestone came about. The Global Language Monitor, a Texas-based group of academics, that “documents, analyzes and tracks trends in language the world over, with a particular emphasis upon Global English” in their spare time, came up with an algorithm to scan thousands of print and online publications. Once said algorithm sees a group of jumbled letters occur 25,000 times in a search, it is designated as a word.

I’m guessing by that standard, “John and Kate Plus 8” will be word 1,000,001 based on mentions in US Weekly alone.

Image-conscious celebrities have long tried to control their personal brand. However, the rise of the internet has made that job much tougher. A few years ago, publicists were scrambling to snatch up and register celebrity domain names (for example, “britneyspears.com”), sometimes paying off industrious domain squatters who had beaten them to the punch. Now, that battle is playing out all over again on Twitter.

Exhibit A: Pop superstar Kanye West is extremely upset at the microblogging service for allowing an imposter to claim the Twitter handle “KanyeWest.” AP reported (via TwitterBacklash) that the real Kanye posted an exceptive-filled essay on his blog (in all caps!) lambasting “THE PEOPLE AT TWITTER” because they “KNOW I DON'T HAVE A (ed: bad word) TWITTER SO FOR THEM TO ALLOW SOMEONE TO POSE AS ME AND ACCUMULATE OVER A MILLION NAMES IS IRRESPONSIBLE AND DECEITFUL…”

Kanye then demanded Twitter suspend “kanyewest” and similar accounts; a request Twitter was happy to oblige.

Exhibit B: This one may not have the same happy ending. The AP also reports that St. Louis Cardinal Manager Tony La Russa is suing Twitter, “claiming an unauthorized page using his name damaged his reputation and caused emotional distress.” In this particular case, the imposter tweeted comments disrespectful to diseased ex-players. Though the account has since been deactivated, the lawsuit claims the comments damaged La Russa’s trademark rights.

For its part, Twitter is apparently attempting to implement account verification, according to co-founder Biz Stone. The question is, how can they possibly implement that system?

The bottom line is for all the publicists and would-be celebs reading this, please go register your official Twitter account before some prankster with an axe to grind does it for you.

As for me… I kind of hope someone poses as me on Twitter. It would make me feel important.

Faced with an online culture that promotes openness, sharing and expression, news organizations are now scrambling to restrict the online Twitter, blogging and Facebook habits of staffers. According to various industry trackers, big publishers like The New York Times, Washington Post and Bloomberg have all informed employees to watch it when it comes to Web 2.0.

For example, according to LA Observed, Washington Post reporters were told via memo to, “Consult your editor before “connecting” to or “friending” any reporting contacts who may need to be treated as confidential sources.”

Bloomberg employees can no longer “publish Web sites, blogs other online journals that discuss companies, people or topics covered by Bloomberg News…” according to Valleywag.

The New York Observer (via Valleywag) claimed that New York Times editor Bill Keller opened a recent newsroom address by warning attendees not to tweet the proceedings:

Before we get going, I'm going to say something I perhaps should have said Monday, when we did our digital update in this auditorium...You wouldn't Twitter something you overheard at the coffee cart without asking. You wouldn't Twitter the Page One meeting (although it would probably get you thousands of followers.) So I'd be grateful if you would lay down your Blackberries and iPhones, and treat this as a conversation among colleagues.

It will be interesting to see if this crackdown results in any high profile violations and terminations. The whole crackdown reminds me a bit of how reluctant the film and music industries were to embrace new technologies and distribution methods like Napster and bit torrent.

Of course, “news” is a less tangible product than a song or film, but if authenticity and transparency are driving force behind success in the blogosphere and social media realm, how narrow is the vision of media outlets trying to rein it in?

GOOGLE DIED YESTERDAY! Or, at least acted really sluggish and crashed for a sampling of users early yesterday. Looking at the headlines of the incident, one would think that the Four Horsemen were gearing up for a trot.

First, the story. According to the Official Google Blog, an internal error resulted in 14% of user web traffic being rerouted through Asia. This slowed things down a bit. That’s it. The problem was identified and fixed within an hour. Urs Hoelzle, SVP of Google Operations offered his apologies, claiming, “We're very sorry that it happened, and you can be sure that we'll be working even harder to make sure that a similar problem won't happen again.”

Now, the inappropriate overreaction:

• Reuters: Google Blackout: The Fallout (ed: What, like after a world-ending atomic blast?)
• Computerworld: Google Down! (ed: RUN!)
• Hispanic Business: Google Down, World Stands Still? Google Outage Shows Site's Ubiquity, Our Overdependence (ed: To answer the question, no, the world didn’t stand still.)

And Twitter… Oh boy. It was on fire with #googlefail tweets. Or, should I say is on fire. Some people apparently still think Google is down a full 24 hours after the problem was corrected.

So to answer the question posed by the title: What does one do when Google fails? Apparently, complain about it on Twitter and write hilariously over-the-top headlines.

What should one do when Google fails? Use Yahoo.

Tips for self-editing:

1.       Proofread! Please don’t ever, ever submit a tip without reading it first. Bonus: Read it out loud to be sure it sounds right.

2.       Spell check. Those little red squiggly lines mean you misspelled a word.

3.       Did you use the required keyword? Did you buffer it with a few additional keywords?

4.       Don’t forget to fill in the question, mobile and meta description fields.

5.       Did you give your tip a title? Did you capitalize all important non-prepositional words?

6.       And finally, are you considering a tattoo? Think before you ink.

I'm about to graduate from college with a degree in journalism.
...I'll wait for The Face.  I've been getting The Face – The "You
Poor, Misguided Child" Face – since I started telling people I wanted
to be a journalist when I was in the seventh grade.  And while the
economic recession and the threat of a collapsed Boston Globe mean
this dreaded expression now packs an even more pointed air of pity,
I’m generally immune to it.  I’ve been practicing the “Why I want to
be a writer” explanation since adolescence, and I’ve been planning for
post-graduate poverty since almost as young.  The surprise now isn’t
that it’s going to be a struggle; it’s that everyone else is
struggling, too.

My just-as-jobless fellow graduates who chose more “practical” career
paths expected to fall into $50K+ salaries immediately after school.
I’ve been preparing my plan Bs, Cs and so forth for several years.
Finding alternatives or supplements to permanent employment, like
freelance writing and editing work, is common sense to a College of
Communication student, while my School of Management counterparts were
really stumped when recruiters didn’t flock to campus like usual.

While I won't pretend to feel good about graduating in The Great
Depression 2.0, I do feel good about graduating with a degree in
journalism.  And I feel bad for those poor, misguided finance majors.

Fans of Twitter laud the micro blogging site it for its ability to clue individuals in on what’s happening “now” and for its “real time” analysis of trends so current, they aren’t even trendy yet.

And Adam Wilson trumped them all this earlier this month with a tweet so “in the now,” he completely bypassed typing it… the tweet went out straight from his mind to the Twitteratti masses.

It should be mentioned that Adam Wilson is a biomedical engineering doctoral student at the University of Wisconsin Madison researching technology that could one day aid individuals who otherwise cannot communicate, but it’s hard to get past the the-future-is-now-and-it’s-so-freakin-cool factor.

The tweet in question was 23 characters long and read, “using EEG to send tweet.” In reality, the process is still slow and clunky, with users strapping a brain monitor on and crafting a message letter by letter from an alphabet flashing on a computer screen.

In a release, Wilson further explained how the technology worked: "The way this works is that all the letters come up, and each one of them flashes individually. And what your brain does is, if you're looking at the 'R' on the screen and all the other letters are flashing, nothing happens. But when the 'R' flashes, your brain says, 'Hey, wait a minute. Something's different about what I was just paying attention to.' And you see a momentary change in brain activity."

Click to see Wilson’s mind reader in action.

Advances in medical technology aside, it’s notable how Twitter lent itself to the promotion of a mind reading device. Critics often blast Twitter as a collection of unfiltered musings containing nothing of value. As ESPN’s Bill Simmons so bluntly put it, the Twitterati’s mindset toward writing can be summed up as, “’here are my half-baked thoughts about absolutely anything and I'm not even going to attempt to entertain you.’"

With that thought, perhaps it’s time to stop describing Twitter as “real-time” and start touting it as a peek into the collective mind of the Internet.

(Image courtesy of UW-Madison)

What’s all the buzz about the Chitika ad revenue system being up and running for LifeTips Site Gurus? It’s not just a rumor, my friends. Site Gurus can now get paid for 20% of their site ad revenue by signing up for a free Chitika account. All you have to do is enter your user name as “lifetips<your niche>” and your application will get fast lane approval. Email us when you’re accepted, then you’ll be able to track ads on your Tip Site as well as any of the ads you post on your own blog or website. Payment to you is made directly through Chitika net 30 days at the end of the month.

To sum it up:

1.       Publish lots of great content (tips, blogs) to your site

2.       Promote your site through social media (outreach, word of mouth, linking)

3.       Get your site traffic to rival the Mass Pike at rush hour

4.       Cha-ching, that’s the sound of ad revenue dollars in your account

You can find me too: @LifeTipsLady 

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